Kindness Begins With You
One of my husband’s observations about my cooking is that I tend to get distracted by doing too many things at once. It’s a fair point—there have been plenty of times when I’ve let a pot boil over or allowed something to burn because I was multitasking or checking my phone. Multitasking always sounds productive in the moment, right? It feels like I’m getting so much done—until something goes wrong.
Recently, I decided to try making homemade toffee. The recipe sounded simple enough, but I still managed to make a mess of it. I didn’t use a large enough pot for the ingredients and didn’t allow the mixture to reach the correct temperature. It felt like such a waste of good ingredients. For a moment, I started to criticize myself—but then I paused. I reminded myself that I tried something new, learned from it, and now I know how to improve next time.
In therapy, I’ve learned a valuable technique: visualize the kindness you would show a friend. For example, in the toffee scenario—if a friend made the same mistake, what would I say to encourage them? Now, instead of saying it to a friend, I say it to myself.
Showing kindness to ourselves is the foundation for spreading kindness to others. Here’s a challenge: the next time you catch yourself speaking negatively to yourself, pause and reframe your words as if you were encouraging a friend. Want more tips on cultivating self-care and kindness? Connect with us on social media.
